Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
