At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
