Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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