This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
