i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
