just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
