he thought i was a dude.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
