so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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