so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
