Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
