Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
