sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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