We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
