Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
