She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
