she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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