omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
