The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Come see our sink grown plant.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize