if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
