It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
