We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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