Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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