Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
