? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My life is pants optional.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
