forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Panties = found
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
