I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
