I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
