why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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