When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
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After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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