so explain again why im purple
no
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize