i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
