my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's get the cat blown out
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
