You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
