mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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