I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Someone shattered a urinal.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize