My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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