Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
