is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
they're like a gay fantastic four
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
