you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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