It's Friday. Sex?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let's get the cat blown out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
