Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
