she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
