I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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