She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
