wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize