Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
NoShamevember. You game?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
