"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
