too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
