Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize