rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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