I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
