Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
