Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize