First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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