He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You can't special order awesome
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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