I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
