I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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