Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
