Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
