what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
