I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
