Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
