I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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